Most of us probably grew up in an environment surrounded by peers that took note of how we acted, what we wore, and what toys we had. Maybe it took a bit but in elementary school you truly would experience the concept of "cool" and what it took to be preserved as so. Possibly this was determined by how many rules you broke, if you had nice things, or how many friends you might have. Then high school happened, and the idea of acceptance is put on steroids.
Here we get the concepts that "rank" us according to society. I would say that one of the biggest ones that females get judged by is exterior level of attraction. Is she "hot" or "not?" The response are girls feeling insecure about their bodies, wearing clothes that will get male attention, and comparing themselves to others. We all entered the genetic lottery without a choice. There is only so much we can to do to change our appearance. Why do we still strive to such impossible standards of "beauty." Girls want to feel loved, wanted, and worthy. It doesn't take a genius to pick up how girls are treated different in the social scene according to what they look like. The "hotter" ones get more male attention and likes on Instagram. The ones deemed "less attractive" can get ignored or worse even bullied.
I hate when people are ignored or perceived as uninteresting or lacking just because they don't fit the "standards." Even in college I observe social circles being divided up by exterior appearance. This is especially a case when it comes to female/male attraction. I do understand that attraction varies with the individual and often is important for a healthy relationship. I do think it’s easy to relate to someone who share similarities with you. However, I think many a time people don't make the effort to get to know someone who might have not caught their eye immediately. Maybe they could be a really cool person and a great future friend? They say the more you get to know someone the more physically attractive they become in your eyes. I can attest to this. People need to give others the time of day.
People need to have a broader idea of real beauty. Is beauty really just skin deep? We've certainly made progress in recognizing different beauty externally in all its shapes and forms. Models now have a variety of skin tones, hair types, and features. I think though the issue still remains of everyone trying to clime the beauty ladder thinking it will get them love, purpose, money, and success. The sad thing is society does a good job of only giving those desired such things.
I think we all need to recognize an individual as a raw human being with hopes, desires, passions, knowledge, and a will. This person is living their life, and that’s a beautiful thing! Everyone is a bundle of use and potential. Their body is giving them the means to be here, go about their day, and be uniquely them.
Going forwards here are some tips to have a healthy relationship with beauty:
1. Find something beautiful in EVERYONE - Is it the way they take the trash out, the way the light catches their eye, how they laugh at your jokes? Observe anyone for long enough and you will start to see more and more reasons that they are beautiful.
2. Practice my mood board project. Everyone has an aesthic. Aesthics are meant to be beautiful because they encapsulate ideas, loves, and emotions. Go make some new connections with those who give off an interesting vibe.
3. When you hear the name of a loved one, do you not first think of who they are as a person in terms of internals? It's almost like what they look like is just the form their inner thinking, talking, loving, and living person takes. The people who matter in your life will be associating who you are according to your inner person, and not so much your skin. Make yourself self an attractive one!
Go out and observe the beauty. Try to not get caught up in the flood of external prejudices!